I always try to keep our blog positive and highlight some of the wonderful parts of our life that I don’t want to forget and feel like I can share to the masses. But I feel like I need to write about one of our struggles. Most people know that we have been trying to adopt for three years. It has been a frustrating and heart wrenching journey that we never thought would take so long. We know that we are supposed to adopt and can’t wait to share our love, family and home with another child. Most days we are able to stay positive in our hope that our waiting won’t last forever and that we will be blessed with adoption but there are other days when that hope wavers and the doubts set in our hearts. I have found myself stuck in a rut of doubt, longing and heartache for the last while. I am sorry to admit that my faith has been shaken and I have found myself questioning so many things. The other night as I was sobbing in bed, pouring my heart out to Lance I literally felt my heart cracking and bitterness rising up to choke me. Lance was holding me and doing his best to comfort me but for once I couldn’t find the peace our love has always given me. I tried to relate what I was feeling to my Heavenly Father in prayer but all I wanted to do was yell and scream and kick him because I felt like he had forgotten me and my family. I heard little footsteps in the hall and looked over to our bedroom door and there was our Myka. I sucked in my tears and called out to her, “Come here Myka.” She came over to the bed and started to climb up next to me and said, “Mommy” and I responded with “What’s wrong baby?” Myka then stated in her sleep as she wrapped her arms and legs around me snuggling in,”I came to help you.” By my side Lance told me that there was my answere and that he had been praying that the Lord would send me a sign to help me in my struggling. I clung to my daughter for the rest of the night as she clung to me and I felt my heart growing stronger and my faith slowly found its foundation again. I knew then that my Heavenly Father and Savior had not forgotten me and my family. I have been so blessed to have the most amazing daughters and a wonderful husband in my life. No our little family hasn’t been blessed through adoption yet but we have each other and our love is both strong and enduring. I know that through my 5 year old daughter my Heavenly Father shored up my faith and made it stronger.  I was reminded that even when I am feeling my lowest, there is a love greater and more powerful than I can even comprehend. Am I still frustrated that we haven’t adopted yet, yes but now that bitterness is not going to crowd out the love and joy I have in my family and in the gospel. I know this was a really personal story and I hope that it doesn’t cloud any ones opinion of me but to me, I received and small miracle and wanted to give thanks and document it so that I never forget. The Lord loves us, he hears us and he does anwere us. I am so grateful for my family and the love that we share. I always say that they are the best parts of me and it's the truth.